There comes a time in every delusional woman’s life when you realize there’s a man you fail to be normal about. I don’t even think this is a bad thing! It makes life spicy, gives you something to giggle about with your friends, weep over, think about in the dark hours, etc. As some guy once said, “if you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?” And so somehow it ends up that for them, you always go a little bit mental when they’re mentioned in conversation, occasionally lose the IDGAF war on twitter, and in general are on the frontlines for it all. One of the few actors I find myself (often baselessly) defending is Jacob Elordi.
It must be nice to be the supporter of an actor who has a filmography that speaks for itself (Timothée Chalamet, Ayo Edebiri). With these types, a stranger can tell you ‘wow I don’t know much about this person but I know the things they’ve been in are real quality, I understand why you like them so much.’ Or at least some sort of innate onscreen charisma (Nico Hiraga, Ayo Edebiri) in which case a stranger can tell you ‘wow I’ve only seen one thing they’re in but they look like a great hang, I understand why you like them so much.’
Yet Mr. Jacob Elordi… well. Previous work? If brought up in regular conversation, people will say they know him from the kissing booth trilogy, which is a nightmare of its own, because why were there THREE MOVIES about a girl with a guy, (best friend’s brother, played by Elordi) but not? Making love under the Hollywood sign, the devil is a liar! The films weren’t very good, and I will defend all parties involved by saying it’s difficult to be good in a bad movie. And TKB were three unforgivably bad movies. His other immediate association is Euphoria, which is best watched on mute. The writing… often drivel. He is not very well liked in this, which shows how good of an actor he is. His character, Nate Jacobs, is literally the worst person ever in a way that defies any sort of logic. I’d argue Elordi is playing it the best he can. It’s also tragic that he doesn’t get to participate in the fun and interesting costume and make-up design that elevates the show artistically. If he was allowed to wear glitter for more than one scene… things would be different.
Real cinephiles, people I would really get along with, would bring up his crowning role so far as Charlie De Lisle in Deep Water (2022) one of my favourite films of that year, not necessarily in quality, but certainly in pure enjoyment derived from antics onscreen. In the erotic thriller starring Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas undergoing marital strain, Jacob Elordi plays the boy toy. And what a good job he does at boy toy! He is young and careless and dubiously plays the piano and fulfills his role perfectly. This is what we came for. This is what I will always usher people to watch when I start evangelizing the actor. The bottom line is- he can do it! Be good at the actor thing. I believe in him.
These days it’s a rocky time to be a Jacob Elordi girl, all eyes are on him as he is suddenly everywhere, booked in so so many films (one of which, The Sweet East, also stars the most booked actress in Hollywood, Ayo keep-a-bag Edebiri). Yes, it’s a trying time, but when is it not? I have sat through kissing booths and nonsensical high school dramas. I will endure an Emerald Fennell film (Saltburn, 2023). I may even like it…? IN SOFIA COPPOLA I TRUST. If she saw Elvis in him, I will too! (Priscilla, 2023).
I think I find myself batting so hard for him because it is lovely to dream. I empathise with the position of seeing yourself as more than where you currently are, of imagining what you want to be, and taking steps to get there. As Lady Gaga said once, and then many more times, there could be 100 people in a room and 99 don’t believe in you, but all it takes is one. Somehow, against all odds it seems I have become one for Jacob Elordi. Here we go mama.